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I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name O most high. Psalms 9:2 Occult Notebook Volume I 27-July 98 Johan U. Xavier
published
by The Marriage of St. Felix Oh Love, I would Thee wed And mean to live I do Oh Joyful rest in me instead Of weeping as you do Oh Love rest in Me today Let me hands embrace Thee For we are as One, We are as mates today. O Timaeus Righteousness incarnate Grown to manhood without scorn How I love thee, and thy good works All blessed are thy house, and Through thy house, all Thine. 7-31-98 Columbia (III) Land of blessedness, of Light Of modesty and peace Thy shrines are open for the worshipping Thy daughters for the wedding and the wine. Arise, Columbia My lovely, All pain is past, all calumny undone. 7-31-98 Psalm IO Before my eyes rises the Sun O Helios, protector of my brethren Thou Eheyah, Lord of Light My staff and strength and right. Tzaddi Imra is my guardian She my threshold keeper Bear with, and stand before me, The Lord of Eheyah is my lord of Life. Imrum My daughters bled their wedding Blood for Judah and its Christ Restore the tide of former years And set the lineage right. Timmum Sprayed upon our foreheads Is the mark of Cain again We cannot be slain. Psalm II Blessed be, and blessed give O Weeper of misfortune End the endlessness of Time And give our children wine. He is root, he Vine, his rod a comfort to the wicked We are sinners all, and unforgiven Shorn and weak, we come into Thy presence House of David, House of Asher, House of Dan. I strike my staff upon the ground The Lion is in summer Rage the Tiger on the beach The Man will follow sooner. Psalm XII Ben Joseph Ben Asher Ben Lev Thrice four resound, thrice four And bring the Hashanadah to the Feast The Tabernacle has opened full And the grave is empty now. Anointed One of Light Thy sage repens the Chronicle of this thy Wedding feast How soon are lost, how soon Are sacrifices gathered for the Feast. Ben Joseph, Ben Asher, Ben Lev, We are known by Cain and suffered as thy Able Oh Seth, how Enoch knew But could not let Thee by Thy holy Gate. 7-31-98 Psalm XIII Ariel come forth Thou angel of delight My Hephzibah, my ashen child O Ariel Return to this Thy Right. My children are by Thee wed And thus anointed by Thy light Be children of the lights thirteen Be Mages by the ancient firelight. 7-31-98 Yesterday was a watershed day of memory, recollection, abreaction. 6-August-98=112=4 = Ah These are days you’ll remember. Never before And never since And you will Know You’re half of something It’s true that you Are blessed and special. When the lights Go out In the City And the Moon shines over the Bay; I will be with you there In My City Eheyah. 6-August-98 Over Grandfather The Grandfather Clause My father stands upon the infinitude And my tiny feet, a million tiny left feet forward legs Gives up a leg for Azazel. Salish I call you down, O Skagit! Weheyah Wei, wahona hon Tahoma Tay, O Beynah Duwamps o beynah Sali ish Tahomeh She She, she nay Nohah. N.T. 3-4-999 6-Aug –98 O.T. From the Old World In Urarta 31-Jul-98 Old Time The Lost Week Between worlds Jane My hardest petulance De Bruik, author of the Storm Beleaguered by the Son (sun) Harried by the Rain You live your pleasures in the Lie And come awake too soon For one who, misdirected Is diverted to the Sky. Johannes U. X. N.O.S. 3-3-999, 31-Jul-98 O.T. The Intertestamentary Period From 3 to 1, from 5 to 4 The time is 5:15 From 3 to 2, from 2 to none Give us seven wages war! Raven fly and rabbit tear Your watches to the storm Fly out, fly back We will not send you black Snow white your feather sails Into the sky. Colossus, you fall And ten more labors does Odysseus Before the cantors’ call Send the water down, but aired So my sons of wrath will not be spared. 31-July-98 O.T. 3-4-999 NT over Grandfather Joaz Banbeck Joaz, did you not hear Jachin Banbeck did not shell the Boat ashore Skulls are lined upon the boundary And termagants are crowding to your shore. I will leave you, inverted Boaz I will live your wife, Joachin Contemplate the Almighty Let your vision blend into your dream. 6-Aug-98 Psalm 3:8:999 I see all And all are deemed by God unworthy; I close my eyes and All Are rendered worthy. Call the host Entire; For war is now engaged; Let wisdom break upon the demons’ brow. -19- Kublai Khan – from the last week – 4-Aug-98 4 a.m. Bleed out The milk of paradise Lying still in the prison of your loins For it is sweet though aged Love, My love remembered as acute She clove me, Ere the battle had been joined. As so I cleave to her My love an exercise in amplitude and grace I must find her way to love me That may never change. O Love, my love My madness’ ken How wilt Thou bleed Your Milk of Paradise again? Hill, GMT. 8-7-98=113=32=5 Herakles to Rapha So many battles fought, and lost, O Zeus But shorn I went, unto your Altar Singer of the Homeroi Warrior, and fallen temple priest Favor me with fortune So that I might serve you best. Chthonios, thou Ruler of the World I went to Rapha and was heard But his cupidity struck at my back And lures me to the field When will I be welcome at your Window When will I be freed from all this pain? I must be yoked to Hera’s favored sons I will not bow, a prisoner Nor compromised by challenges to peace I will deliver them to you Do with them what You will. 7-Aug-98 Bind my ways Bind my ways O Eheyah Grant me consolation for the days My fallen house, my fallen brethren Torn from wombs they could not breach My milk is wasted on these children My grain is wasted on the kine But look upon them all with mercy For my love is Joseph’s, blind Loved, they will not pass from me My love for them is wilted on the Vine. My sacrifice is made complete So let there be a Temple Rise before their feet. Grant an end to weeping, O Eheyah Hear my plea, O Jacob For thou art struck from Joseph’s womb Hear me, children of the Ladder The Nephilim are harder fought And faster. Mission San Rafael Arc Angel Before GMT 7-Aug-98 Redpath We are all of us together I, like all my army, stopped, Halted. But unlike these, my men, My children and their ken I know whereof I wait I know whereof I speak It is tomorrow And life is born today. We crossed the Sea We are seldom blessed But blessed, we marry Thee The open land is here for all to see And all will soon be breath And breathing free. 12:21 GMT 7-Aug-98 Larkspur You and I You and I, Messiach Both made small in Wisdom Sensitive in power We are all made straight In the awful shower at the Gate. We use ourselves with Mercy But in our Mercy Is the will of God untold. The power is unleashed, and not by my hand alone The towers have been breached And not by your Wrath alone. 7-Aug-98 Republic of San Marino Too many saints Crowding on this hill Too much of empathy Of Apostles whetted for delight. 7-Aug-98 Central I was the watchman I was the watchman Of the long eternal hour I was the binder of the demon in the Tree I waited out the empty days of night Who authored all the seas of light Time is nothing When all the world is ransomed over Thee. 7-Aug-98 Novato Greenwich Mean Time This mean season Drawn and quartered by Millennial Decree Their small moment Is the death of me. 7-Aug-98 Presidio Seal the Breach All my enemies lie slain And my army is at rest It is time Basileus retires And becomes what he is best No warrior he, the modern scholar Pressed into the breach But something hid, and something Zeus would have me teach. I stand, a watchman A torch upon Thy wall See my wake, Jerusalem And hear the word of Saul. 7-Aug-98/998 Over Mt. Hood/Helens Epithets of Action Undone – Not John Donne Unmanned – Not Thomas Mann No more/nevermore – Not Thomas More Unbearded – not Caesar Hairless – not Brutus Beware – Declare war 10-Aug-98=116=8 Lysistrata in America Now who shall refuse To kneel before the Almighty God of Lust Know thou, that ‘Tis better to serve Mammon in this land Than Dionysios. Fertilize the seed that falls unwasted Onto hallowed ground instead Watch the slaves of Mormon Fit the need. 17-Aug-98 1:25/1:30 p.m. As the Executive sits on trial. 19-Aug-98=125=8 8.20-98 = 126=9 before 7 p.m. 8-21-98 MARK Dionysios in Amerika Do not again cavort For you will risk the wrath of Eros And his false Decrees He does not belie Olympian unfree. The rage of Hera Is so like the storm That rises slowly on the sea. 17-Aug-98 1:30 p.m. over Shasta Last night, I dreamed of Shasta. I will, I must, be there, over Shasta. Palomar (6:40 p.m.) So now the die is cast And events arise to shape the coming dawn I am sage Cleansed of earth and fire Shorn of rage I am reborn And rise to greet the raging of the storm. It is time And now our century of bliss is come at last The die is cast I am in the Gambler’s hands Working free Working as the agent of the Tree. I shine And while the telescopes are free My goal is realigned 22 ot 4 and 33 at 364 The palms are met My agents are unsent The rage is come My destiny unset. I die again to dies irae I am not the god of strife But reconciliation Grieve for something sunnier than death Grieve for passion’s breath Mt. Palomar National Observatory 17-Aug-98 Death is fast approaching Death is fast approaching, demon Death How well I know your countenance and breath Stand and be unmet, O Specter I would have my brethren with me yet. Is there mercy in this service As we battle death? Is there hardship yet again imposed While I defeat my shade You are unsung, Shadow I must defeat you ere I live tomorrow new. I met Numen in the early morn And two alone Our sails were newly worn. 17-Aug-98 580/121 Alameda/Pleasanton Odysseus’ Tenth Labor’s Love Lost And so Christiane, the daughter of the Holy One Went on the day of Wrath to Raphael And spoke in a loud voice, and said I would wish my vengeance be satisfied But the world will by this learn little Of the mercy of the Lord. They believe themselves in mercy, merciless And righteous on the pose of righteousless They cannot know the wrath they seek Is senseless, and will not slake The appetite for Sun Let this battle be unwon And I not here to punish but to sing And long they labored, just to hear me sing Let this song of Ancient Wrath Be now Unsung. 18-Aug-98 Millennial Decree The world will end in 1993 So we, the authors of that Wrath Shall plan ahead 900 years and In that time lose 3 The birth of Christ, was, after all, in 103 BCE So six behind will add another 3. So nine behind and three a head Use Numen’s Elogy For young Saint Saens was right again For two will get you three! A million 2 were found above the 47th tree When Angels manifested on the day of our Degree. Prudence hobbled on my Path And Joseph did preserve Her Prudence will be seen again Though none could truly hurt Her. Profligate, your works abound In Judah, on today What grief will bind them motionless When appetites are found? Oh Kae, take them to your land And let them stay afraid With their wives, or daughters three And let their souls be spared. For each who hides the shameful wound Let all be seen to see The hanging noose that rings their nose As bulls are wont to be. And only I and Numen were At harvest on the Lea And only two of us remembered When the Ocean sank the Sea. Yet with our third, the Circle is revealed And all will soon behold the Hour The Hour is not 7 years hence, or 3 Or 2 but – 6 going onto –7 and counting. On October 12, old, old old time Was born a beast And April 12, old old time Another was released And August 12 was born the Harlot, not in Majesty These are symbols only and not the Messiach’s degree. We shall not sing our date of birth For Rosenkreutz decrees! I have seen the Law today And bow to the Degree I have met the Son today And serve Him on my Knee. Over Mt. Shasta 5:36, 1:36 GMT All the Earth prepares for the Degree Cadeuceus Stay Me Stay me, Oh thou great Eheyah Stay the tune of wrathfulness I am warrior less The less I feel Your path I am Endued For Edward is accused of Treason And well he should Good King Wen Ce Slaws. Milton’s Confession Lord, I have been too full of Puritans To love you purely I have been too shorn of love To see her love as holy With Thee I always meant to live A nun, devoute and pure But wilted on the Vine, I could not live And be demure For Love of Thee I hated and Was bound to Thy decree For Hate cannot engender Faith Where Love was meant to bee My wife, my termagant, my love Would never cleave to me And so in passion took by force And broke Her into Three There will never bee excuse For such a one as Me I beg to be unworthy But still you wait for me.
Candlemas Tonight is Candlemas Torn asunder by the Great Decree It is time to seek a haven In the word of the degree. Nine bells we sound at Candlemas Nine witches topple from a Tree I grow sick, so sick So sicker I shall be. Sicher Sicher Sucher Zucher Zucker So Mote it Be 9-19-98 (sic) 8-18-98 Allegorical Epithets of Ipsissimus Sich "I am" Sicher/sicker "I am that I am" YHVH Ich "I" higher self She "Shin" lower nature, upraised Be "Binah" understanding Kei, Kay, Ke "Kether" Crown Tough "Tiphareth" Peas "Pesach" – the Sacrifice Wood Tiger in Earth Season The day of the Dog is the dog day afternoon The Tiger’s tooth will yet be pulled. Debts Accrued On this Date In 1998 You will pay me 88 The currency determined now Will bear the symbol of the Tau. What was not said, but must be penned Is that the date has been upend So instead of joining in the Fun You pay me less in ’61! So now the Coin is minted whole And Julius is Master I could not be wealthier If Raphael were after. 6:20 Felix Numinisimus Felix was my name The eldest son of Atlas A singer in my youth Whiling away the nights relighting Aetna Basking in the warm Tyrrhenian sea. If he could touch the crown of Jupiter Then maybe I, the tallest of the brood Could sail into the realm of Achis And have a worthy name like that of Atlas Felix of the Overworld. The eldest son of Atlas The tallest of the brood The lowest of the humble Ferrying the living past the corpse of Acheron. 8-18/19, 98 48 Hrs Later As Cancer rises bright with Luna In her frail destructive light I wax and so she wanes to nothingness Until the endless Lion roars. Two days have passed, I lay upon the fevered land I walked, and flew, and waited Without the hours few. 11:30-6 7 ½ Of those few days my eyes saw naught but few, Forty were known And eight unknown I tried, oh how great I reached for 42 I lay awake and could not come with 2. The gate is straight The way is narrow And the path into the Gate Is passing straight. 19-Aug-98 after Alarum J.U.X. Johan Uri Xavier J.F.X. Johan Francis Xavier Johan U. Xavier 19-Aug-98 Vance Hotel, Annaganthas 8-19-98= 125=9 And So we run, as fast and far As Love can take us to the Infinite Run fast and far and hide in Me There is no escaping Lions on the Lea. Day of the Lion Flight 169 Running Free Howsoever I am wont to run, I run Regardless of the time or timelessness of season I have ever been this way, for freedom In reward for freedom bought with sacrifice unspoken All I need is flowing from my poem All I love is granted me again And all that was destroyed by death Is given me again, unbroken It is as though my life is granted to me once again, unlived All mistakes unmade And all that remains of that unlived life Is that I lie awake at night afraid Were that this little maid inside my mind be unafraid! My love, O love in terror, How can I protect you from the life that passes now behind? How can I purge the terror from your undermind? Lord, I plead with Thee To take the child that now clings to me Enwrap her in the Love that will not end. 9:15 Psalm 0+1 Thou Greatest of All Rulers Thou King of Righteousness Slay the ignorant among us Let them stay themselves Within the realm of helplessness And leave the rest of Man To greet the Lion poised upon Your land. Psalm 0+2 The world of Time is passed at Thy command Take from me all of the illusions of the time Grant me life and Love unending So I may bless the moments that may pass. The Octets Ah These women How do they reflect the beauty that lies imprisoned in my wild love? How can they know that my desire is buried deep Inside the womb they have not opened Grant them light so they may find the love They do not know they seek As Luna rules their night. Unrepentant Brief, unchallenged night Ruled by She the unrepentant Foreign bride She is mine entire She waits for me with unrepentant ire Pain will be my portion if I fail And love will be rewarded as I serve and slowly hail She is mine, and pledged to me entire She is Beauty in the searing bright of fire. Samuel’s Son David’s harp lies mute Though once again the March resounded Much was done in that brief space of solitude Much inspired His march resounded as it does whenever Michael sings Plays though David touches not the strings Let the world lay still as Michael sings! Oh though I grieve For lands beneath the realm of ragged cloth There is no sorrow left upon the land For she is freed For though I bled for wounds unhealed, Unscarred, she is rejoicing in the temple How can I grieve when victory is won How shall our challenge be unsung Why should I weep when Death is overcome? 40 40 more or 40 less could matter Yet less I speak the more will conscience come Scald me wakeful, Yahweh, for I am cold in sin Wake me cruel so we may sooner win. My goal is all. Yet 40 more will greet me if I fall. Give me over to the will of All And let the 40 waken when you call. Greet Me Greet me well and modestly I am nothing to the will of Thee, Almighty Mercy on the one who wakes to soon to be made worthy Mercy on the ones who wake with me. Mercy on my cold beloved, hiding in his Tree Mercy on the self-fulfilled in doomed and shadow land. Providence on those whose theft of me gave rise to anger, Willingness on those who bargain free. For we are full This land was far too empty before now Before our birth laid claim to Thy decree For we are full and mighty now, O Lord Oh Lord of Life and Love We await the fury of Thy Call. They await the thunder and the hail of madness then We await the mercy of the All. Let the cantors wait until we call. 58 were. 58 are now. 58. 58. 58. She comes undone…. As I pen the letters of my epic She comes undone And presses me against the tides of madness Doth she not know that she is ever mine thou ever mad Doth she not see the love we might have had? I am thrust into a shame I can not bear Yet must She is chained as Myrrha was Unto the lust of Zeus My crime is plain for all the world to see My passion is the blight upon her tree. John Milton Upon the contemplation of his solitude and the causes of same 1643 Evensong 23 September In the empty hall of Lawrence Lord Essex (long may he stay in London) In nominatum probitur The Passions of Man (As told to the author) Concupiscence: "Oh bleed the iniquity from out my flesh For I am found unworthy Let my rage be spent on somethinge spended grate The penalty for concupiscence must be high To make me so enflamed Tear the freedom from my very eyes that I be blind to her So that all my passions will be sooner blind I do not bleed despite my prayer And goes unanswered this my devil’s need." Were they unprotestant These would be Confession Were I but priest to lay shrive upon them But I am wicked much as He I am slave to witness the unfree. John Milton 23 September 1642 In the halls of Marbrey With Leighton and the children of misfortune Deus ex logos, diabolus in excelsus The Cruelty of the Summer As I was lashed by these uncertain tides The everlasting twilight waned Into the crimson dark The moon was past the new And somewhere ‘neath the star The child wept, the tears were washed away by rain And I was conquered by the pain of his lament. He will soon be free But how long will I remain Communicant for those who fight Again to die In parodies of pain Broken on the wheel of ignorant misfortune; This is the cruelty of the summer Unrelieved by autumn’s cooling rain. 8-23-98 Two will get you….. 9: Flight 2127 The movement is afoot, and I am borne above. I slept as dead, the sleep of death I took Now all and everything begins. Day of the Empress Willowed down below, blasted far above, Here will not be found soft death. The measurement of seasons has begun And we are raised Each moment of our retrograde Is praised. Once were three, and now are three begun In worship in the light of Praise But none are sung. This day of Three has not in truth, begun. We are engaged, As all without, the world has grown enraged. 9-4-98 Portland Our Passion Met Our passion met the limit of our flesh And grew… And so, enflamed, we grew and meshed And could not meet anew We grew enflamed. Love, cannot my love be born in you afresh? Why do you ache to breathe me into you? Why goes unslaked the passion that awakes Anew, anew And sleeps within, to grasp my weary flesh? I cannot fulfill this endless lust, But try I will, but cease at last, I must. 9-4-98 We Fly As far as death has flung us from the Infinite We fly And toss our crowding madnesses Into the cloudless sky. The world is come unglued As far as we can cast ourselves Before the holy rood We sanctify Your reign. And we will live again Below the storm material Among the fruited plains All we have is harvested in rain. Will none believe we grew our love in pain? To throw forgiveness to the wind To love ourselves again It matters not For twice while four the clock is torn in twain. 9-4-98 My Wife How long I loved her, bright and dark My wife undone, my life unloved Yet could not please her, nor her rudeness sparked The horror of her aching dark. Oh death pursued her through her night And long she lusted for my pain We slake the beast but sooner does the beast return again I still pursue, though she is lost to light. My love, I pray, return to me Be heaven-born, be ever free And long I pled, she will not be And so undone, she flees from me. Though I am well, I am not whole Without the true companion soul JM On the Tract of Divorce 1645 31 March Eros 13 She was my wild love Unbridled and uncaring Tempted by the fullest fate, uncaring Did I take temptation then Oh yes, for I would take temptation then! For she was full of rapturous delight And she was eager for the finest of my goods She lay with me, and stole my greater light Enraptured by the fever of her night. My pleasured love, unending My death of consciousness How could I care, for naught was all forgotten? In the hideous incitement of her moods. I lay with Eros, and was lost within her Wood. 9-4-98 Aesculapius When I am the face of ugliness And greedy is my sole intent I fall, and in the falling am upend There I seek the willingness to mend. 9-4-98 Stone and Silence The stones that fell from outer sky Brought fever to the world below So far unknown, the wholly blest Were carriers of wretchedness. O Alien and cold, these conscienceless Within the broiling ocean Ceased to stir the froth of brine And murmured from below. Captured by the light Divine They swept their conquest clean And leading from the choir loft Their Host was Byzantine. Release the Host, thou Lord of Life And break the mold of Pichas Send the wretched back to Light And free the human home. 8-Sep-98 14-Sep-98 This was the day of breaking through. All the life before the bleeding life began Came with me from that room… Now I know the Headsman And well I know the Warden They have marked my face in blood And never would my soul release The power that was Never theirs to take, but mine… And now I claim, by right Divine The power of the Light regained, Forever Thine. I will not be light denied For even though each day, I died The power of the Word survived. Bright and Fair And oh, As far as we were flung from Love in discord, As brutal as the war between us raged We were met And come together whole My love and I, we were engaged. And though as loud and terrible As Florestan has danced upon The world’s unholy stage Eusebius is laughing And the Emperor is laughing For the world is bright and fair And She has smiled upon me, bright and fair And all the world Is brightened by the Air. 14-Sep-98 R.S. at Autumn Gefallen sicherheit Thirty Days Thirty days ago The Trumpet blast was heard And all has fallen flat Before Thy word. And thirty days ago, I see I penned today a date And called I forth the Lion As the Profligate decreed. And Oh, the waste! I run among the billowed storm As though I have been chased All blood is thin as water And the moment is erased. I bleed for Thee, as long I lived Executrix for those who wait I feel the pang of leadership As long I wait to lead. Is today the day I lead? I would not care to Yet I have placed myself at liberty And freed I am to sorrow. And how should I be freed? I cannot say and yet I plead Let freedom come by joy And not be violence. We cannot have both scholarship And rest. How I longed to rest! The end has not yet come To end my test. On the day of release from Sorrow 9-18-98 Why dost thou weep? Pain has been my portion every day And now the rain is come My weeping has at length begun And fear has lighted on this empty page. How will she rage? For she would rage until my death If I would let her Oh my weeping one, when wilt Thou be assuaged? How can poetry contain Thy holy rage? Perhaps you wish to weep My love, my brutal wife If you would cry, and once at least, To sleep… Let me come to you, And let your rages keep. 9-18-98 In the Kingdom of the Air I seek the Light Prophet of the day before Tomorrow It is time we ended all our Sin It is time the speaking of the Lie is ceased. It is time the Angel blasts a tone To sound the Tone of silence Prolegomenon to Thy decree Yet I cannot cease myself. I pray You give surcease to Me. 9-18-98 Over Hood/30K Soon it will be time to wake again and resume. Oh my love, The cries that greet me now are Not of gladness, but of pain Why must we set this fevered course And bring the night again, again? 9-20-98 1 Tishri 10:30 p.m. Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony The Day of Atonement Rosh Hashanah 5759 Oh brief my eye’s despair Which sees the turning age grow old… For as the flame banks high upon the Tower And as our kings are herded fast before the Rod So we bleed into ourselves The ripeness of the Hour So we greet the fallen sons of God. I am met by two, and two Are soon beset by three And all our Host are fast engaged The war for Heaven has been lost and won The war of man and angel Is at length begun. I fight within I fight within myself And strive against the pride That wells up from within. This which I have sacrificed to win. The moon is past the new… None can hear me now The Son of Strength is unheard by all And must be met, though strong. And none shall dispute With the Sons of Perdition. Day of the Empress: Surcease And How might three be done again In permutations of the Tree Here I sit, absorbing sun While Tiger wanders free And who, at length, embraces Thee Oh Lord of Life Magnificent in power Is there none awaiting Justice In the ripening of this Our final night Of unrelenting strife? Let us cease I was there king Until, at length, I gained release Yet they condemn me out of hand Who once was mighty, fallen And they will stop me still Until our wars are ceased. There is not enough of blood in me To grant them all surcease There is not enough of Light in me To bring a lasting peace. And How might three be done again To bring the reign of Peace For here I lay, reborn of man To ransom all who weep. They killed me And yet, I would not die That chieftain of the arrogant That scholar of the Word I breathe, I live again To waken those who sleep. Grant me strength in Light Oh Lord of Life. 11:23 Nox Perditiona If it were only true The final death The moment of Surrender When all iniquity is done And wrath is poured as wine Upon our bodies. There is the dream of endless pain For Torquemada’s legions The Engineering Corps of Hell remains To tease the wrath of underminds Into the rage of God. What rage is this, invented by The mortal mind in rage? Not blessing of the Holy One Nor written by His sage The wrath that seizes all of us Is not of Heaven made. And march again the legions of misfortune Lately blessed, yet damned another age Do they not know we have outgrown them, Every Beast And every word the prophet lays upon the page? What wait My beauteous, at rest and now displayed Resplendent in her courtesy Mouldy with disdain I have unnerved her, so my portion is to wait And wait another year in vain For she is naught but vengeful In the garment of disdain My beauteous, my brilliant Has filled my world with pain. How I have longed How I have longed for this world And all the beauty in it Conquered by despair and cast apart. My sentence was that I remain unused Unknown by all, but known. Untested by the trial that beset the world about. Were that I exhibit passion for the New And strain to wear the cloth of righteousness Without the stain of sin But now, I know, am I locked in battle With an enemy more subtle than I knew And do not know what outcome may await What form of victory this plan may take Yet if I wait… I may regain the world I once destroyed And conqueror of that one land That man has late enjoyed This is the one, my only occupation Early seen, and now at length, employed. 9-26-98 I am above I have been in this uncertainty before Chained by power when embraced by righteousness Dogged by conscience when pursuing power, There is no place for prophecy in power There is no room for hatred in this Lately-sacred hour. 9-26-98 Oh Subtlety Your name is womanhood Yet I would not be strong Without your passion I would not be whole without your love. Oh Thou, the rampant undermind This womanhood that seeks to rule The whole of me, unkind I cannot let her free I cannot be a slave to ignorance unfree For as she weeps in darkness Thus are blinded We; There must be wisdom in the madness that is She. Breathe, my Light, my Life of consciousness Let the Lord of Life return the sanity to She. And more than met, we shall conjoin The crux of passion’s crucible The power in our loins This becomes the fountainhead of power Rejoined, remarried, as our broken soul is coined The chamber opens to the chastened And unlooses fire in the newly-builded Tree. 9-26-98 Comes Basileus to Al Amarna Fayoum, the desert place Awash by flood, unfavored by the God The lake has filled with brine and death We cannot slake our thirst Nor catch our ragged breath. Here came the warriors of some new Zion Here was lost their scripture to the flooded Nile Yet here I have been led, this sullen latitude has called And all before lays below in stillness. All is death, yet power glimmers in the rock Spirits rise from sun and sand And proffer me their vision I wait the spirit in the stone To rise before my weary feet As all are dead, my vigil is alone. I await the spirit to arise As long I stand, alone. 9-26-98 Forest of Error When I am unmade I seek the pleasures of the flesh And seek to justify the rising of my shade He comes As dogging all my footsteps, I yet walk in pleasure's glade. Lord of Life, prepare me for The mission I have made, I can be Love, and Light If Light I Seek, my soul's desire tonight. No fire in my flesh is worth the loss of this, my Right No dalliance is worth the demon fight. The Fly in Amber The fly in amber, frozen still Still regards his Maker The hollow eye is baleful as it stares As I in turn, regard the fly Who represents my anger He will not be freed Not in moments of my passion Nor in wisdom by decree And so the fly remains As I in turn, prepare to die To force another season Or still, remain As cataclysm roots out my disdain And fortune gives the lie to lingering pain. For Thee, I will remain To watch the fly in amber Prisoner of pride in flesh Of rampant vanity He is mine, a hostage to the drawing-in of Breath For no amount of time will hasten flesh. The world in amber, frozen fast Fast regards its Maker Material is rendered by the 'All, Those who can will fast remember Those who do will rise before its Call. 10-3-98 Dayton Mercenary Life So on this day I became a mercenary to the Kingdom of the Air Though in some vague way Displeased the king I dwelt in safety all the days I tarried there. The mercenary life is freedom For the wicked and unfree And much reward is given for its service Wealth is easy when it comes by intellect's decree Pleasure is the future dynasty. One day, I will be free To carry on pursuits of Self, Unhampered by degrees But as I stand on treasured land I grow, and come to be The time of trial is mythology. 10-3-98 The Light-Hearted I met the light-eyed warrior In guise of young Athene We met at Center on the day Before the day before the Ordering of three I came to her to make my mission Freshen in my mind For much is needed to be done And few are servants to the mission of the kind And she was heavy in her burden And I, her servant for an hour Could not ease her mind. How can I serve the warriors Who battle without strength Beaten down, discouraged from the fight What word of wisdom carried me To victory and light What freedom from my soul’s intent? I must remain steadfast And not be stranded from the light My resolve must now be greater than before The temple lies in shadow And its genius is devout How can it stand When all is turning dark about? 10-3-98 Chicago Circe’s Web Arachne soon will swallow all her children And the finest mesh expands to fill the void And Circe once again will sweep the sea She gasps the mind of ignorance And captures terrors three From Circe’s web will issue this decree; "Abandon hope, ye Rose and Cross The Temple is destroyed Atlantis is forsaken And your rulership is void." Oh no greater lie than half a truth Is promulgated now Yet no one prophet will be soon deceived Return to Me, the hallowed scry Ignore the baleful oath The truth within will overcome the Lie. 10-3-98 Day of the Jackal I am alone amid the millions of my children Strong in love, and stronger in my passion Will none escape the wilderness of flesh To join with me in spirit To bring to birth the love I mean to free? This was my fate, this moment is my destiny unspoken I am full, yet empty to be filled with Thy decree; What prospers when the world remains unripe; What destiny is written while the moment is unknown. Something hid may smite me as I sleep The jackal-headed specter is my shade; There is yet another test Another wonder to be made I wait the evening out to night To see my mission blest. 10-3-98 Chicago As we wait My love grows deep in roses I find her in the pleasures of the heart My spirit, weak in ignorance Is chastened by the rendering I find so soon in art. 10-3-98 Prosperity Each moment in the world I stop and wonder At the point of poverty’s incessant need For in the realm of lack There is the smell of waste within It rankles in the nostrils And as its foetor grows, we are unmanned Prosperity will be denied to all In this regime As rampant grows the appetite of greed. 10-6-98 after Full Moon Playing Against the Nets The larger I may grow in prosperous delight The larger grows my enemy the shadow It is a game to him The play of light and shadow Touch me not, O Shadow… For what am I, if I am other than the light And what is he, if he does not oppose We are unmet, and in reverse I come up against the nets that seek to hold If I lose it will not be a game to me for long; And lest I win; my victory is bleak. The Shadow is about and sweeps the sea; He seeks for darkness motes among the Darkest diamonds lying on the Lea; He seeks for me. 10-6-98 Before the day before the day… The Day of Ordering of Three Camped upon the cliff, we are alone Edged into the edging limb of umbra Unseen, we must remain unseen. All among the humankind are Ordered into three Just as he and I and those who would be Me All calumny is come; and lies Are pinned against the judges and the jury, Justice is unhinged among us In the land that once was free. Without justice, law will be found conscienceless And man will find no solace In the artificial order We are lawless now, abroad We cannot see ourselves as free But soon enough, as once was prophesied The turning age grows old; None are innocent, but some indeed Beyond recovery; And now these kings are known by fruits they store n silos And soon they are deposed. In this new order there is nothing But the ordering of three; The storm is rising fast before us all We wait the lightning on the land The timing of the Fall We wait in patience for the sounding of the Call. 10-6-98 10-8-98 And the moment after All the turmoil… How can this be worth The resource we devote to it? How can pain be so packaged For our export Fr this brief amount of gain? Mammon must be master of this round Soundness, Practicality, Are lost within the press, To finance, to the bank So run the piggies to the market To sell this pound of flesh. 10-8-98 = 116=8 Oh my love, I am not enough for Thee, Though I am with you always Your rage is all unspoken There is no discretion I can practice That will bring you peace There is no passionate embrace That brings your full release This I finally know The wave of your desire has a brutal undertow. 10-11-98 After the Feast When I lay with her, barren, and I Brought her fertile to her peak, There would be no issue from this night of mad desire; No child from the seed of passion’s night Though she, my one and only, And I, her ruling priest Are met again, and blest again in union We are not embodied for the raising of a race And far afield are nurtured all our children Oh love, if I could hold you every day I would father on you all my worthy sons, And lovely, tall and straight, The purest daughters, But barren we remain We are not embodied to be so immured in flesh This passion is the drawing-in of Breath. In the sacred season When we have made our vow The Lord of Life will raise our holy children, And as He speaks; our seed are counted numberless As waves upon the Ocean Pray with me, the moment will be found. O Lord of David and of Abraham You have found us in error before this day Release us, lovers, from the house of pleasure And show anew the way to serve the light. She resists me, but this is her error’s season; She may weep, but serve we lately shall. 10-11-98 Gnomon We have been few before this day The nameless, our companions But we are more than two, this truth we know And more in time will soon behold the Way. This is the season, when the book shall be redone Blessed by faith, and tested in the wilderness It will sit, a gnomon in the lately shadowed Clock While Time precedes to end in endlessness. I have the Hand that rests as shadow on the Clock I am the Clock that chimes the end of things. 10-11-98 As I pray My passion cools and sharpens to my task; That which was undone is soon remade; I have been blessed and fast forgiven My love is with me as we long have prayed… There is so much within me; Life I never glimpsed before today; As I progress, unfolding, on the steep and winding path I pause a moment once again to pray; Oh Lord, I have been the most unholy servant Wicked in the politics of need; And now the weeping earth Is wounded by my pride And much too late I harvest from your seed. For as I pray, the land is newly broken To yield the poison manna of the past O Israel of prophecy, come forward Is no one humble as they face the deeds of man? I am reborn today as righteous For just a moment do I stand in justice I am not the judge of men, or arbiter But bid the judge to weigh me lacking. There is no humility in fire The words upon my lips are lost to pain This commission of the Father is too heavy To bear the sorrow rising on the rain. My pen is growing empty as I speak As dry as paper are the words of invocation Now I fade For yet another season I pray to be remade. 10-15-98 enroute to Atlanta Timaeus (II) Gather up our gospel for the fire Brother, this day is black with wickedness No truth can here be spoken Turn away before the calendar is done. Something hid has smitten thee, Timaeus Some small demon of a rampant kind I know thee better than myself sometimes And cannot live in ignorance of mind; The day of prophecy is come And is unstoppable The Will of God is greater than my own; To mouth the words of righteousness Will never set Thee right No will of mine will bring Thee to Thy home. The Will of God rests on me, inconceivable And drives me forth to greet the golden dawn; Perhap we part tomorrow To be born another day; I pray you well to meet me further on. Oh Brother, how to lose the Sun Before the break of Day? How the light has waned within the Temple… Is there no hope, is there but hope To wait another day Had I but strength to wait another day! Something hid has grappled you to ground And has no will to stop its motion; I have no strength, defiant in defense To slay it ere it seeps into your mind Oh how to lose the Sun Before the break of day? Few enough are those who serve me now How the light has banked so low So bright to be engaged When Cosumel has lighted on your brow? Oh Timaeus, when wilt Thou be free? I will be ever found at this, the humble altar But will we meet again? I cannot know. Obeisance At length, when all my pride is lost And passion-led remembrance is a play There is at length the moment of obeisance Where there is none to hasten me to pray. 10-15-98 I am given over I am given over to a subtle master now, This bright contumely of the intellectual I would have thought the Profligate enough To school me in deceit And breed a healthy fear of ivory. But I am in his debt, this mercenary prince Yet I cannot find the way to serve his pleasure; Nothing good will please this haughty appetite For beauty is a pleasant metaphor. This has happened long ago, and once before, Where long I served some subtle prince’s pleasure And when at length, the play grew long My days at court were ended. What shall I do, when I am given over Bow to him, to serve his power’s greed? Or do I flee, to serve a wiser master Refusing late the vast egoic need? This play I will not need; Nor pleasure in the mental realms of space I am required elsewhere And go I must, Regardless of despair. I did not wish to serve displeasure so; I will not serve the Lord If I am brought so low. 10-15-98 Retreat 10-16-98=124=7 Having run where I was bidden I had my silent rage Now I shall retreat I have emptied myself of words And the hollow voice, uncertainty] Has spoken. Tomorrow, I am at liberty Perhaps a preparation will be made There is time to labor, and there is a season for the harvest Here within, is my solemnity. Solemnity has quelled each day of laughter Fear of my tomorrow looms afresh Ah tomorrow and tomorrow and the next Are canvas for the painting of my flesh. I have lived these days in fire Such moments I have never burned so bright What does it mean, to be so raptured by the fire Days are lost in passion burning bright. In my retreat this night I grow disgusted by my flesh The weakening desire of the mind And turn anew to that small voice The questing of my Breath To light another, finer passion new I have prayed tonight for wisdom For the passion of the New I have bled for loyalty to pleasure I have never felt so wicked or so lost upon the world Though God is in my vision every day. This is my fundamental time of Test When every solid thing confers disgust This my body and its worshipping of life Is nothing but the dross of heavy lust. I fast retreat, and write Though all my words are empty And the cadences of Rhythm have been lost She has fled me, Muse, yet I am obstinate to write This is confessional, for long this vigil is, tonight. There will be song again, and thus I know Confession has its value, not in verse I will not show to man, yet God will always know Purgation comes when I have grown perverse. I lived in the kingdom of the rampant flesh My limits all were passed and then surpassed Now my inner battle is again engaged I wished it so… I wished it so! This is my land I am greedy for the pleasure of the world I would be lost If I long dwell without the purity I need to bring to chasten this my Hand. I am empty, yet this must be For always rushes forward my tomorrow Yesterday has tumbled forth And change has come. There is no wisdom in my pen; For change has come Again, the world has altered me completely Again, the God has lighted on my pen. 10-16-98 over Kentucky Sensibility Sensibility is a finer science Than the exercise of mind Pleasure is the wealth of aestheticians Spirit cannot waken in the leavened flesh I would prefer this cleaner sin of mine. 10-16-98 Oh thou unholy one I loved you In the form of brother and of son How many times have fathered you Upon a disappointed mother I have had enough of fashioning My enemy in flesh And breathing you to life with passion's breath. Return! Thou banished Triskelion The triple headed demon I abhor I had loved the vanity I made And nurtured it until I numbered four. And did I love you? This portion of a lower self denied My demon son, my fever life Unfolding into one And can I send you back into the Sun? There is no death in this unreflected realm We face each other, enemies of love; Unholy one, the only weapon I can raise Is bliss that covers all the world above. I was unholy when I raised this soul to power; And I am shorn to slay it in its foul lair. Upon the exile of the unholy To the e lower skies 10-16-98 Victory So this is victory The empty moment as a shadow Darkens the now-blessed sky. And there, she lies My child life, my bright and bright-denied, No more peculiar pilgrimage was made Than this, that stole the last remains of pride, I cannot find again that moment When we were met, when she was light-denied, When I was held within her grasp so tightly Slave of all she might have asked of me. Who was I when I was slave to she? Some fascinated soldier of the line; This plastic realm, my Fall each other time I wonder still if I have learned this time. I feel her breath upon me as a flame I feel the rising of my lately-burning shame. 10-16-98 Regret 10-18-98 7:40 a.m Dayton 126=9 Day of the Hermit I bled out my regret this night Before returning to the altar in the West I cannot say that I am virtuous today I pled and prayed for Light but I was stricken Now is time to heal this scar I made. Oh the shadow's hand has touched me And I grew bright in battle with my sin; There is none and nothing that will take my blame There is no hiding place to store The wisdom that has risen out of shame. There is only remorse For passions I have lately kindled I must realize that for all the rest Who do not make my choice They have not set this arbitrary course. And so, I must retreat For tomorrow and tomorrow and the next Until I heal; Who can say what power I must yield To free my love from shadow under sin? I have seen this sin, and made my full confession; I have asked the God within for this surcease And soon, as long I pray, the madness ends By Cosmic intercession. And was this meant to be, To burn my soul by fever and by flesh? It is not for me to say… I wait the sky to bring a holy day. 10-18-98, dawn Dayton I, John I, John, a sinner Unworthy to be known as one chosen Having sacrificed my wisdom Having persecuted those who held me dear Await the judgement of the Lord For I, a sinner Not named so by an arbitrary priest Nor damned in dream of a religionist's convention But by that one measure that is always mine to use; By that one hand that I had pledged to God in service By Conscience only I am rendered now unworthy; By Conscience too, shall soon be raised To this, tomorrow's labor. 10-18-98 Chicago, upon the storm The Preacher I have been vouchsafed from the haughty profession Of the preacher, But as I wait I meet one such, another deep unfortunate Laboring for his own version of the Light. It is easy for the egoist to mock; To scorn the servants of the lower word But Wisdom does not bear itself On only hallowed shoulders Soul is often brightest shown in Hell. And so I greet the Preacher And inquire; He may have been my brother once Or once again, my daughter, I have wronged so many in the world What is a single kindness In the passing of an hour I am certain there are many kings Arrayed like Satan's preachers Seeking for the light amid the shards; I will be there, and speak a word of simple kindness For some future moment when he speaks the Word; What is one kindness, as the prideful kill another hour None will note the passing of the Bard. One day again, I meet the passing Preacher Chastened by the mystery of Law I will be there, and he will know my face When Thelema and Crowley are no more. 10-18-98 from Chicago Losing Generations We slept, while righteousness raised money; And Pharmacy disabled all our sons None would cease the great electric noise Who can read when noise has eaten pace? Two generations hence will health return With silence, and against indoctrination Those who plead for silence, or at least for sanity Will lead the rest to render us surcease. This roar is the reign of Madness incarnate And it will roar for twenty years and more And when the second decade comes And pills have been forsaken Health will be restored Sanity at last will grip the youngest generations And then, Thy kingdom comes. 10-18-98 Prophet of the Day Before Tomorrow And so, embraced my love And forgave myself my sin I drew myself together, and was restored A prophet, as the day before had told. These events that grip the world are great And conquer many of the weak with sheer despair It is as written, but the greater still Are yet to come And stronger hearts will yield to fate to come. We shall not relent Our words are writ in agony Our pleas have not been spent And suffering will not be stayed From those who relish greed They will feel the sting of sudden need. I am inured to greed But bold are those who seek Their ever-empty purse to feed Material will choke them full with need. Their waste will cure the hunger of the world Till none are empty; This I see, and surely all shall know Today has come, The day before tomorrow The day has come for Wisdom To release the slaves Who bow each day to Sorrow. 10-18-98 For A Single Moment Did I die completely Insensate, a soul again unbound I flew to God, my home above And knew I had been found. The Shorn Too early met, my Caiaphas Betrayer ere the prophecy was made You could not keep your faith with me, And so are shorn. These bitter truths are laid before me, In one brief moment in the common temple Enemy, though standing tall before the altar Obedient in form, though only I perceive your fall; When will you bow, if ever Must I see you crushed, Like those we left a thousand years ago As corpses on a plain where righteousness was ours? I would not see you crushed Though enemy, I would not be the judge that sees you crushed. But who, at length, will stand with me, And must a martyr always be forsworn? I weary of this newest age of martyrs Victims of the ego of the shorn. I weary quickly of the energy of martyrs The searing of their flesh and bone There is nothing in my sight But this millennial dismay For none of those forsaken will atone. For P.L. frc. At the Turning Away 10-20-98 10-22-98 10-22-99 112=4 At the Fall of Fire 10-24-98 = 132=6 Night Silence reigns within me once again Where late my lord was unrelenting anger Yet my conscience, at least, has now been cleared My tasks are newly made complete. I am with my beloved And she with me, entire Perhaps today she will be well My whole, my every dream inspired Perhaps today the fire of our love Will bank and flame too passionate To kindle demon ire. 10-24-98 The Grief of Autumn There is, it seems Some anger in the rising wind Some grief is manifest upon the rain in Autumn I am alone; More stricken by the horror of my stillness Than the clarions of war; War is come Without my doors, within my breast The terror of the great unknown The moment before my bliss I have fled the furor of the great Illusory And sit in stillness by an unmade fire. There is to me, some anger in the rising wind Cathartic in its very noise What will blow toward the shore tomorrow? The metaphor of rain is in my insubstantial tears They do not seem to cease in sunlight; My tears are strange enough This grief is strange enough To drive the fear of morning through the night. 10-27-98 Oh love Why cannot I feel Thy hand Of reassurance now? I am so lost below Though I have beckoned Thee above Why cannot I feel the warmth Of Thy unending Love? 10-27-98 This Song Is somber in its ponderous intent This day is endless If my light remains unspent. 10-27-98 The Marches of Madness I have had the madness lifted And my enemy has failed Yet I weep. I weep for happiness unbroken I have been wicked too, before this day; I have been fervid in the loud pursuit of pain I cannot see to care for what I dare resent This day has all my wickedness been spent. 10-27-98 Sleep The healer of my many wounds The salve upon my conscience When I retreat to this my crimson room The blanket of your silence covers all in gloom. My little death each day To keep at bay that lengthy death of conscious life That only comes when I cannot obey: The voice of knowledge that is mine She rises from within That murmur of my love As she emerges from my skin This magic is the child life of sleep So soon I am returning As I plough the inner deep. 11-4-98=113=5 Oh my love There is some great ecstasy In this abode of silence And our prayer is done, we see Beyond the prison of our flesh We have re-begun All I know of Thee is that I shall begin to learn All I see of life is but the lesson of an hour If compared to that sweetest mystery I contemplate each night The moment that I lay you down. Each day I see a difference in your countenance, my love Each night I greet the newness Of the self that is your Self Each day has God delivered us of pain And restored my love into my waiting arms. 11-4-98 The Rising of the Fall The unholy purpose Makes its presence plain We are splayed across the centuries And harvest poison grain. We are the corruptors of mankind Doomed by wisdom, and constrained by our desire We are as they, our hopes are theirs Though we are no longer innocent Or blissfully blind. Our torment is what we have made of Heaven, hell; This world, these men, our passion and our pain We loved them ill, as through the ages, Lay with them again, I pray we learn at length To love them well. 11-5-98 My Love, My Opposite Is it within me, that I love you ill? Is it myself that beckons in the night Or is that voice less shrill Who can say what voice in me Is that single true companion… Will she ever live with me And give herself as wife? I dare not say, and daring not, I weep; How must I wait the endless days While my love remains asleep? 11-5-98 Friday, Unto Saturday The future is upon me now, So clearly do I see A half a million bodies washed Upon the beach at autumn, I care only for the thing I wish to know Is my love with me? This I fear, yet this is so In tomorrow, as today, She will forsake me; The knowledge of tomorrow is more cruel than kind I must proceed as though my eyes, Made bright with flame and fire-life Are dull and yet unopened I must plead her cause each day Though that distant morning Shall be dawning bleak, And I, alone, held captive By the vision of the history to come As once I knew today, tomorrow, So today, I know the detail of the distance And every aching line of agony She etches endlessly in clay; She will not be stayed. 11-6-98 Oh pain This is Cassandra’s curse To feel the pain before The mighty blow of sword is struck To see the empire crumble ‘Ere the crown is placed This is my doom, my eerie destiny, to watch As all that righteousness has built Is withered ‘ere the perfect dawn. 11-6-98 For she I loved so well Has struck me cold today Returned the only gift that I could love, She rendered me, not as I am, But as the young Basileus Before his march began. How well she knew his face And touched the crease with care Upon his brow; I knew the touch she smoothed Across my eyes when I grew weary – Love! How life is broken By the treachery of games! And here I toss this wine Into the heedless dust There is none I truly cared to touch But you… There is none I loved as much As long as I remembered you. But treachery is made complete This day as madness reigns And this, I always knew… The second year of the fourth decade Will be seen unholy And the darkness will be beaming from their eyes For I saw a new Heaven, and a new Hell Arising from their places on the earth And she has made her choice so plainly As the harrowing is done And all the chaff is laid to fire, All the demons on the earth rejoice. 11-6-98 The Damned, Returning When I have wearied Of the coldest precinct of my pain And I have done with this damnation, I will wake, and take on the garment of the blest; For holiness is an informed consent Acceptance of the will beneficent Is easy if forgiven But there is only one Who stands between myself and that return of heaven; Righteousness cannot be forced Upon the face of guilt. Yet who will love the million unforgiven? There are not enough of tears To weep for sins we cannot count So I will cease to count my sin As those who made it their career to count my sin Find better occupation There is rough economy in counting on the damned I do not care to measure in these ways of ignorance Best to take the coin of the unholy And place it in the offering of sin. There may be one who stands before me Waiting to be shriven; I am not the judge of men To whom such power is given. 11-9-98=118=1 1:52 a.m. The Invocation of Basileus A great leader is a future king The prince who, in measuring aright Finds his merit lacking As today I find my merit lacking For I would be that leader Long I waited for release from pain To hold aloft the palm… This life was forged, as formerly, In darkness My fascination with depravity Is legend; Be it otherwise today, I rise No slave to wickedness, or shame No seller of my dignity to martyrdom I will not choose to throw myself to death For any cause that is unjust My place is here, among the noble And they have found me worthy I have said it in the hall of deity And thus it must be done I seek my place among the ranks Of those who raise the Sun. 11-9-98 8:41 p.m. End of Volume I |
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